How My Son Sees Me.
His 2-year old voice trailing his 2-year old legs that have sped off to lap the round kitchen table.
He is moving fast, although it feels like slow motion to me. Time stands still for a second as I soak it all in.
I see him go, and I watch so much change even a single day can make.
I smile as he does.
I am his running partner, the chaser, the chased. I move my legs as quick as I can to race to the other side of the room and tap the door with both hands. He is quick to do the same.
No question, I am a role model; an example. I see it as his chubby hands reach up to tap the door like mine do.
I stop to catch my breath, so he does, too. Watching and waiting to start back.
We went to the store this morning, and he bowed his head shyly when the cashier attempted to say hello. I smile for him and say he is bashful, that he takes after me in that way. He takes after me.
Dear Lord, help me. Help me give him a good lead to follow. Your lead.
He is thirsty. I give him a drink.
He is hungry. I peel and cut an apple to eat.
He is sleepy and asks to watch TV before bed. I am his chair, his soft place to find comfort and calm.
And where is my comfort and calm?
He needs to know it, too.
It is in the prayer he watches me pray before lunch and in the one I whisper through clinched teeth, as I stretch him out to replace that diaper he doesn’t want me to change.
It is in the Bible I read and in the hug from his Daddy as he walks back through the door to come home. Lord, lead us home.
Our comfort is not in a piece of cake, a cup of coffee, the shiny bag from the store.
Yes, those can make me smile and do, but those are not what keeps a smile on my face.
Instead, please see the arms that lift you up, arms that lift me up, too. Feel the warmth of a hug after an argument that says it’s okay, the grace that amazes and is available everyday. I must give it and receive.
I want you to watch a love that’s reliable as a kiss and a hug before bed, a trust that comes from both the heart and the head.
I know I get broken, but I get put back better than I was. I am weak, but I find strength in our Father, Holy, above.
Chase after Mommy, because I am chasing, too. I am chasing our God who is sharing this great love story with me and with you.
So when you look up to see me, you look up. Notice, I am looking up, too.
“You shall walk (chase) after the Lord your God and fear Him, and keep His commandments and obey His voice; you shall serve Him and hold fast to Him.” Deut 13:4