My One New Years Resolution
My original title for this post was: Why 2014 Was Such A Good Year. Then I looked around the kitchen.
I’m writing on day 8 of a 14 day antibiotic. And not the typical sinus infection kind. This is the kind that makes you dizzy and drink about 50 glasses of water and stop nursing your baby kind; the – need to repair your gut and immune system, after the typical antibiotic messed it completely up – kind.
Neither our 10 month old or myself were prepared for such a change.
Insert picture of our kitchen sink here:
I want to sigh. I have cried; I’ve questioned why.
Such a good year. Even with a hungry baby who refuses to drink. Such a good year. Even after a surgery and more and more medicine. Such a good year.
Yes. It was.
According to Facebook, it was. Facebook assembled some of our smiley faced moments; some of the sweetest days so far:
The birth of our second son, my husband’s 30th birthday party, our oldest turning two. Glorious, smiley faces.
It left out the arguments at midnight, the mess of diapers and Cheerios all over our house and how Papa’s hugs were missing at Christmas.
As time continues, it becomes more clear that every day, every year, there will be bad, along with the good. There will be lies, but there is truth. There is darkness, but light will dawn.
So as I reflect back on the year, I will choose to remember:
I heard the words “I love you, Mommy” spoken to me for the very first time.
I watched my husband watch his football team from a sweaty stadium seat and felt refreshed.
I embraced a mother whose daughter went Home so soon and heard a love story that lives on.
I met new friends who shared their lives and sent me scripture on a card that stays by my bed.
I kept the nursery and 2 year-olds at church, and sang “Jesus Loves Me,” and they listened.
I celebrated milestone birthdays and watched faces I love sparkle in candlelight like kids again.
I learned more about strength and faith from a fifteen pound giant slayer, and I love bigger because of his short life.
I sang my lungs out, dancing at a concert, and took selfies with my sisters and didn’t care who was watching.
I rejoiced in healing and in birth announcements and in the anticipation of life eternal and new life to come.
I let my baby boy snuggle up on my arm to nap and watched him grin.
I saw my sons hug each other and follow each other and share.
I learned the words to the Pajanimals theme song to sing aloud before bed.
I thanked soldiers; I prayed for strangers; I hugged and kissed my three favorite fellas every day.
I hurt people. I was hurt, but I chose to stop giving the enemy something to smile about and to love instead.
It was a great year. Best yet.
Now, what to teach our kids about looking ahead to the next.
1. Make a resolution. I am.
Mine will not be “do this” or “change this”…. And “more Jesus.”
It’s just – More Jesus.
I will surely set goals throughout the year like blow-dry my hair more, wear jeans and less yoga pants, don’t worry so much, check on my friends more, do less laundry.
Yet, I know the only way to look and feel and love and be who I was made to be in 2015 is – more Jesus.
I will talk to Him more, listen to Him more. Give Him thanks. Let Him lead me. Let Him carry me. Share in His glory. Be His joy.
Be thankful. Everyday. Be thankful.
Even when the sink is full and we’ve tried almost every sippy cup and bottle flow manufactured; even when he crawls over and tugs at me and doesn’t understand, and I try not to cry. I am thankful.
It may take a little while to dry my eyes to see it, but God has used sisters and mothers and new and old friends and my husband fixing supper and ALWAYS His Word – His Promise – to make me thankful. To make me hopeful.
I look at those little eyes, like mine, and I give thanks. What big things I pray they will see and mighty things I pray they will do.
As I’ve written this blog this year, I notice how God can speak so loudly through the softest little voices.
In the year to come, I’m ready to listen; I’m ready for more.
“I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently find me.” Proverbs 8:17
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In His great mercy, He has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade — kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.” 1 Peter 1:3-6