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The Night A Brownie Made Me Cry.

As mothers, we give up a lot for our kids. Of course, there’s sleep. Often, our bodies. Sometimes, our portions, our social lives, our knick knacks and fragile things.

Over the past week, I’ve learned of a new trade off. Our littlest, at two weeks old, has developed what appears to be a milk protein allergy, which means for a season, his nursing mommy will be learning to live without milk, chocolate milk, milk chocolate, ice cream, cream cream, butter, cheese, pizza, and a long list of my otherwise enjoyable treats.

And it is a small sacrifice in the big picture.

I’ve shared our situation with a handful of friends, and tonight, a dear one showed up at my door with a thoughtfully prepared dairy-free dinner, including a surprise dairy-free dessert.

She sat next to me on my couch, she warming the cool night air with her bright smile, and me feeling spent, cuddling a coughing baby. And she carefully described the menu she had prepared.

And then she said two words that made my smile grow as big as hers–

“And brownies.”

I know it may seem silly or meaningless to some, but just say “brownies” to a mommy postpartum, and to one who’s already gone without a week of desserts, and it was as if a prize was won.

And in a sense it was.

You see, even though, we as mommies are often faced with new sets of sacrifices, we are always allowed new gifts and moments of reward. And I had another tonight.

After a hard week, three sons sick with a cough, new diet and sleep deprivation, I had a dear friend show up and show me how much she cares. And I have watched others do the same – love on me, love on my family.

Tonight, I once again realized that even when we go without, it doesn’t mean we have to go at it alone. By the grace and provision of our God, we are given a community to walk alongside and carry us when we need it. Or bake us vegan brownies.

And maybe it was hormones or maybe my lack of sleep or ice cream or combination of it all, but I teared up at the thought of such sweetness. Or better said, I was moved by the gesture of my friend who proved to me yet again how sweet sharing life really is.

And I am grateful for what true “friending” really means and giving thanks for my precious people and for brownie crumbs.


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