Today is Friday, and after spending the past four weekday mornings attempting to entertain and educate our two young boys (and myself) at home, I decided a field trip was in order.
This is not a decision I typically make on the spot. My heart was stirred last night before bed, and I began planning my strategy.
If all went according to schedule, I’d get a shower in early, before my husband left for work. I’d change our two-year-old’s clothes into something suitable for the weather (and the public) and get him started on breakfast.
Baby brother would nurse, play, finger paint with the cereal he tries to eat, then change clothes since there is no such thing as a big enough bib to keep him clean at mealtime.
A new diaper for each little bum, and after finding a big enough cardigan to cover my own, all was on track, and I was getting close.
I just needed to grab a crossover bag for my wallet, a bag for shopping, a sippy cup, a snack bar, a burp cloth, two little zip-up jackets, my phone, my “Carter’s Cash” and a quick drink of water myself, and it was almost time to head out.
Baby brother made it to car seat; big brother would not wear his tennis shoes, so the gripper socks would have to do.
Both boys buckled into backseat; stop and breathe.
I texted my husband before I put my phone up and started the engine:
“I think I can, I think I can.”
We made it to the store. Baby brother enjoyed his stroll, and I only blocked a couple ladies into shopping aisles before having to maneuver him around to let them out to continue on.
Big brother decided to explore the store, find the exits, rearrange the displays, yell at me for just asking if I could help him try on shoes, attempt to push the stroller (thankfully i stopped him in time before tipping it over) and almost bust my lip.
All I could think to myself is: this is totally normal; no one is staring; it happens all the time; the boys are happy to be out of the house; i am, too; these are really great deals.
This is so not worth it.
And you know what, it isn’t.
Spending my days with my two littlest buddies/students/loves is the good life. Every day I watch them explore, smile, get upset and get happy again, learn, laugh and love me. I watch God’s masterpieces develop and grow even more magnificent than I could ever imagine. I see His glory before me, even when noses are snotty, and the house is a mess.
I was on the brink of a full-blown mommy melt down and had to remind myself – it’s so not worth it.
And so I took another deep breath, glanced at the little faces looking up to learn from me and moved forward.
I have two babies, two years old and under, and I realize a quick run to the store is currently not an option. I know tantrums are at almost every turn, but in God’s great mercy, there is always a hug not too far behind. My days can be difficult, but they are a dream come true. We have it so good.
And so even a challenging trip out with my busy bunch is not worth avoiding the next big adventure and not worth a bit of complaining from me.
These little boys are worth so much more.