Thanksgiving week is typically a short week.
This means when I go to bed Sunday night, I rest a bit easier, knowing that I’ll be enjoying more husband time, more help with our babies, more “us.”
Yet, here it is, almost 5:45pm the Wednesday night before, and I feel worn out. And I smell.
We spent the first part of the week cramming in every bit of pre-Christmas glitz and gift-getting that I wanted to check off my list before the parking lots get packed out. This plan included taking our screaming toddler and drowsy 9 month old to meet Santa, getting lost wandering around Opryland hotel looking at Christmas lights, searching stores for the perfect and somewhat on-sale gifts on our wish lists, and brainstorming what in the world our two not-yet-fully-talking babies would enjoy wrapped up in shiny paper and bows.
We’ve been to the grocery store three times in the last two days, and tonight, I will be attempting a new dish that a friend assures me I’m fully capable of accomplishing.
I am reminded that I am not a great cook.
I am reminded that I can’t be at everyone’s house at once.
I know that all of my planning and every list in the world will not make for a happy holiday.
Forget all that.
“But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.” Luke 5:16
And so here, I am. Ready to be still and pray.
**
Sometimes, i feel too tired to think of everything I want to pour out to Him. I am so thankful and so needy. I am tempted to complain. I am tempted to fear.
“Then Jesus was led by the spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.” Matthew 4:1
As much as I want to pray for health and safety, for peace and comfort and joy for our babies, for us, I pray for protection.
Protect them from the evil one.
The same prayer Jesus asked for us.
His Spirit is what we need. He is what to be thankful for. How easy it is to lose sight, to get distracted by all the recipes, the sales flyers, the twinkling lights, the tempers that flair; to stumble into the wilderness; to look away.
**
I said I smell. I guess I am dirty. Days when I don’t shower, and I forget to put on deodorant and am still wearing the tank top I slept in can get smelly.
I give thanks.
I give thanks that my smelly can go away before bedtime with the soap and hot water that’s one door away.
I give thanks.
I give thanks that I get to run around with my babies all day and don’t have to look at a mirror if I don’t want to.
I give thanks.
I give thanks that even though my hair is falling out and the wrinkles around my eyes are getting deeper, my husband still looks at me the way he did when he gave me my ring.
I give thanks.
I give thanks that even though I am not a chef, my family is well fed.
I give thanks.
I give thanks that even though there’s a lot to do, we have the means to do it. Even though there are gifts we cannot buy, our boys will have a tree lit up. Many will not.
I give thanks.
I give thanks that even though disagreements and misunderstandings may come with dinner table talk, we say grace.
I give thanks.
I give thanks that Jesus is worth more than all the planning, the car rides, the casseroles, the smell of the stove top. He is preparing our banquet.
I give thanks.
**
Tomorrow morning, I will awaken to a feast.
I’m not talking about the one we will enjoy after a two hour trip to Mamaw and Papaw’s house. I’m talking about the pages of scripture I will wake up a littler earlier to enjoy.
Because this year, I am remembering whose guest I am, and I am giving thanks.
“Then I heard what sounded like a great multitude, like the roar of rushing waters and like loud peals of thunder, shouting:
‘Hallelujah! For our Lord God Almighty reigns.
Let us rejoice and be glad and give Him glory!
For the wedding of the Lamb has come,
and His bride had made herself ready.
Fine linen, bring and clean, was given her to wear.’
Then the angel said to me, ‘Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!’ And he added, ‘These are the true words of God.'” Revelation 19
I want to meet Him at the table.
After lunch tomorrow, there will be four more nights before we reach a new Monday, December 1st.
As we near the season of Advent, I want to be more focused on Him than I am focused on myself, this world.
I hope that I will go to sleep each night, filled with a praise of thanksgiving to the God who found me worthy to call His bride, His treasure. Yes, even messy old me.
So very thankful.
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