The morning was overcast and dark, yet I couldn’t find my sunglasses fast enough. I had my left hand on the steering wheel, digging through my purse with my right until I could feel the smudged lenses with my fingertips. I pulled them out and hid quickly behind them, shadowing the redness that was swelling up around my eyes.
A couple hours earlier, I loaded up my boys in our minivan for a trip to see a new doctor. She was a pediatric dermatologist, who I was grateful could fit us into her busy schedule, and I was praying for answers and help for the skin irritation that keeps causing chaos in my head.
I am a sensitive girl and that’s multiplied so many times over when it comes to our children, and even the seemingly minor bumps and hurts, cut deep down inside of me, and I just want to make it all better. Yet, sometimes, the better way can take us by surprise.
The doctor came in quickly and spoke even quicker, explaining all the triggering factors I’ve researched since our four year old was a month old, and I nodded as she spoke. Then, she examined his skin and quickly shared a plan, and she was gone before I could take it all in.
And I put my son’s little shoes back on, and I held his hand and carried his baby brother to our minivan, and I lost it.
I cried, and I searched for my sunglasses, and I cried some more.
Not just because of the appointment, but because of the struggle with each rash on the skin. Not just with each rash on the skin, but because my husband had been sick with strep throat, and he needed my care, too. Not just because my husband had strep, but because I hadn’t had a chance to just sit alone and run to Jesus.
So Jesus ran to me.
As I merged onto the interstate, I turned down the radio, and I opened up my ears to hear.
“Jesus, have victory over this. Take this. Defeat this evil that attacks. Jesus, help me.”
Tears and more tears and talking to my friend.
And somehow a well of comfort sprung up from this clay jar, and He was doing it. He was defeating it.
And I took my glasses off, and I took a look into the review mirror, and I watched a little boy smile back at me and say that he was okay. And I knew he was, and I knew I would be, too.
And I share this all to say, it is okay to cry behind those glasses, mama. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed and out of control and used up.
Because that gets us so close to our Savior. So close.
And I said the name of Jesus as I spoke to Him more often that I usually do on cloudy mornings, and I let Him take over and take the weight of my little world away.
And He can do that for any of us at any where at any time.
There is just no way to be perfect. No way to solve all the problems, no way to make all the things and be all the places. Yet, our God is bigger. And He is using whatever comes before us to show Himself in the most beautiful of ways.
So I encourage you friend today, no matter what this natural world throws your way, focus on what’s supernatural – what’s eternal – what cannot be taken away.
Do not let anyone’s comments or compliments define who you are, but instead, let God show you more of who you are meant to be. He makes such beautiful things.
“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” Ecclesiastes 3:11
Love,
Mommy
Oh, my friends, the past several days have been hard in so many ways. We’ve watched storms tear and take away. We’ve reflected on the many lives lost sixteen years ago when such terrible hate broke our hearts. We’ve gotten bad news or just felt bad ourselves or watched someone close to us cry. And yet, God is near. He promises He will be with us always, He will never leave or forsake us. Jesus – God Himself – prays to protect us – His followers from the evil one. How incredible it is that we can call on His mighty name to move the mountains that threaten to make us fall. Take the time to call on Him. And watch Him show off, because you don’t have to. He is ABLE and so very good. Amen.
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