Bwall, Bwall.
He shouts it loud when he sees a ball. It is short like he is, and it is his word. However it forms, it is correct. I love the sound of it. A friend of mine advised me to write down the words he is beginning to say, and I’m making my list. His first word sounded like “happy,” and he wears it proudly like a hat. Then there’s apple and daddy, mommy – my favorite. He says hey, hello and hi and bye, all of which he can speak into his toy phone or a wooden spoon, which is also a toy phone. Of course, there’s ‘uh-oh.” That one makes the eyes move quickest to where he is. I love these little words. When there’s too much silence, I miss them.
The past three days, our toddler has been sick. It is the kind of sickness that calls for Tylenol and Benadryl and emptying an entire pack of Boogie Wipes before lunch time. He has a nose that keeps running and cough that reminds me how he feels; something yucky needs to come out. His temperature elevated yesterday afternoon, and I keep checking his forehead and mine and his again. He crawls up in my lap and tosses and turns to get comfortable, and I squeeze him and brush his hair with my hand. He doesn’t speak, but I hear him and want to make it all better.
I’ve washed his bed sheets twice in the past 24 hours and changed his t-shirt twice today. He doesn’t fight me, but he is a fighter. I watch him survey his toy box and find his red guitar and a TV remote microphone for me. He carries two wooden spoon drumsticks to his Daddy, and the band is reunited. He smiles with a runny nose and begins swaying his weight from one foot to the other, dancing as I attempt to sing “Jesus Loves Me.” He has no fear. Even though his eyes are pink and puffy, he sees who he loves and smiles.
It is easy to see love in the eyes of your child. You think how great is God’s love for us, how amazing is His grace. Those songs we sing in worship chime and echo, and you can only imagine. Oh, to have the trust of a child. When the temperature rises and breathing is loud, to crawl up into our Father’s arms and find rest; to look and see what we’ve been given and share such gifts, to see Who loves us most and smile.
I pray for healing to come quickly. I pray for protection over his baby brother and our home. I ask God to give me His strength to be tougher than I am, to show our son and tell him all will be okay. We will not be shaken. When I am quiet, I can hear. Oh God, I am ready for the next word.
“My soul finds rest in God alone, my salvation comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken.” Pslam 62:1-2
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